


With the Animals

by strikeyourcolors



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Animal Traits, Animal Transformation, Batfamily Feels, Batgirl Bonding, Dad Bruce Wayne, Fluff, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-01
Updated: 2018-04-01
Packaged: 2019-04-16 13:00:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14165382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strikeyourcolors/pseuds/strikeyourcolors
Summary: Things have not yet returned to normal in the Wayne Household after a magical incident resulted in the bulk of them being turned into animals. That's fine; Barbara's used to the abnormal. She just didn't anticipate exactly how many traits they would still be exhibiting.She wishes she brought a camera because not even her memory feels worthy of capturing this entertainment.





	With the Animals

**Author's Note:**

  * For [chibi_nightowl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/chibi_nightowl/gifts).



> So chibi_nightowl wrote a lovely little fic called [Follow the Leader](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13840356) that you should check out if you haven't already! This drabble spawned off of that because adorable batchildren turned into animals and a joke about the aftermath of what that must be like. She very wonderfully set Dick and Cassandra up as puppies, Jason as a chicken, Tim as a duckling, and Damian as a cat.
> 
> I'm sure there are more annoying parts of Post Animal Transformation Syndrome. I wanted to focus on the cute.

"It's not that abnormal for Dick to run in circles," Barbara points out as they stare out the large window of the kitchen that overlooks the manor's lawn where Dick is doing exactly that. Cassandra had been chasing him but now appears to be curled up for a nap in one of the lawn chairs while her brother persists in running around like an idiot. "It's only been, what, an hour? That's nothing." 

"There have been other symptoms," Bruce replies and sips his coffee slowly. It's already late morning - too late for normal people to be having pastries and coffee - but Alfred has set out the food and drink on the ancient wood buffet against the far wall and none of them are going to get a chance to eat and caffeinate go to waste. "I wanted to be certain I wasn't exagerrating them before I called Zatanna back to take another look at them." 

"Symptoms?" Barbara questions, one brow lifting at Bruce because of course he enunciates that particular word with the most severity possible. Of course it was serious when anyone was transformed into something else. The fact that they had all been transformed into adorable animals should have no bearing on the situation, but Barbara can't help but remember the soft warmth of Dick as a puppy sleeping on her lap or how Jason kept pecking her foot trying to get a sparkle off her shoe while Tim hid in the leg of her pants and quacked his upset.  "Like?"

Stephanie grins. "Damian tore up the drapes in the study trying to get to the top of them. Just jumped up and latched on with his surprisingly sharp nails and climbed until he could perch on the top." She tips her head, watching Damian stretching in the warmth of the sun outside. "Until the curtain rod finally broke under his weight." 

"It was made to withstand linens, not a young boy," Alfred chimes in. He stands slightly behind them with a cup of tea in his hands, but there are creases of worry on his face."Master Timothy startles at nearly every sudden movement toward him or loud noise. Master Jason asked if I had any _grains_ for the past few mornings."

"Tim's always like that when he's sleep deprived and paranoia gets the better of him. Plus, Jason just really likes oatmeal?" Barbara offers hopefully but she's beginning to see the problem here. They had been their animal selves for barely twenty-four hours. "You were warned the effects could linger, weren't you?" Magic is an imperfect science. Barbara kind of hates it for that reason. 

Bruce sighs. "We were, but I'm a bit concerned for how patrols will be run."

The blonde girl in their gathering frowns. "Wait. You've had us go out with broken bones or after we were poisoned but going out acting like a puppy is going to be the straw that breaks the camel's back?" She crosses her arms over her chest and huffs. "I see how it is. I don't get time off _and_ no one has photos of me as an adorable baby animal."

"Some would consider that a blessing," Alfred chimes in. 

"Cass looks normal," Barbara says and hopes it doesn't tinge on desperation. "Just sleepy. Where are Jason and Tim, anyway?"

Alfred sips his tea. "I chased Master Timothy from his bedroom nest and the one he has begun constructing under the desk in the library. I believe Master Jason was in the gym working on his gait." That's probably code for staring at himself in the mirror to be certain he isn't waddling. "Master Timothy was barred from the gymnasium after too many times of slamming into his back as he followed."

"Cass is mostly fine," Bruce agrees. "Except on patrol she keeps flopping around and looks like she wants a nap."

"Yeah," Steph adds in. "That's Cass. Have you met her? She has killer mode and sweet puppy mode. The real issue here is Damian. He seems like he's going to pee everywhere out of spite." 

Bruce groans. "My son is not actually a cat. He has better sense than to pee in inappropriate places to show his displeasure."

Outside, Dick has picked up too much speed to alter his trajectory as he comes barreling at Damian. He plows into him, bowling them both over as Damian yowls and flails while they go rolling across the grass. Barbara takes another bite of her muffin because she's probably not going to get a chance to finish it if this keeps up. 

The woman next to her sighs. "I see blood." 

"I shall prepare for the worst," Alfred announces as he disappears back into the kitchen.

The noise appears to have woken Cassandra, who bounces around her tumbling brothers excitedly. She looks, definitely, like a puppy trying to get her own nips in. She might even be barking. 

"I can see," Barbara says after she swallows her final bite of what was a very delicious muffin. "Where this might become a problem." 

~*~*~

Stephanie shows her the remains of the nest Tim was trying to make in a spare bedroom. It's one Alfred hasn't found yet so the imprint of blankets coiled in a little circle is still obvious. "Why isn't he here?" Barbara asks. 

The other woman shrugs. "I think it's because the windows in this room face west. Jason couldn't see when it was dawn and wouldn't come hang out with him." 

"In his nest," Barbara repeats. "Jason Todd wouldn't come hang out with Tim Drake in his nest because the windows of the room face West and Jason is a chicken." 

"Rooster," Stephanie corrects. "I think. I mean, he didn't lay an egg and he had that thing on his head but I'm not exactly an expert on chicken sexing." 

Barbara bets that Bruce actually thought to check and she's not sure if that's thorough or just creepy. 

"I got to give Tim a bath in the sink when he was a duckling," Steph confides. "He was so cute! Paddling around and he would dive under the water and wiggle. Jason sat on the toilet and glared at me the entire time but Tim seemed to really enjoy it." 

She must be giving Stephanie a critical face because she adds, "The lid was shut so he wouldn't fall in! I'm not an idiot!"

The redhead purses her lips. "I didn't say you were." And she doesn't think she's stupid at all. She's simply trying to reconcile the image of grumpy chicken Jason watching baby duck Tim play in the sink while trying not to fall off the toilet and onto the floor. There couldn't have been a lot of purchase for his claws on the slick surface. He must have been determined. "Did Bruce decide he wants a cat of his very own?"

"I'm assuming," Spoiler replies, "That you mean of the legitimate animal variety. After Damian? Not at all. He carried him around and I think he really enjoyed the chance for no pressure physical contact but Damian is a hellbeast in any form. He kept swatting Jason on the butt and tried to eat Tim until Dick laid on him."

That also seems about business as usual. Maybe not the actual butt-swatting and maybe he doesn't usually try to _eat_ Tim but Babs has been on the receiving end of enough stressed out phone calls from Dick on his brothering methods that she's not too surprised.

Steph agrees with a sigh. "Yeah. But I miss the cuteness factor, you know? I can't really keep any pets while I'm in school and even then it's not like I could just have ducklings hanging out in my apartment." 

"One day," Barbara reassures her. "The gauntlet of education doesn't last forever, nor does the mantle of a superhero. You could always go somewhere you could have ducks." 

"I've seen your apartment and it's not big enough for ducks," The blonde replies. "Man, where are they?" The hunt for Jason and Tim has begun in earnest. Mostly because it excuses them from listening to the lecture Dick and Damian will probably be getting. Alfred had taken to brushing out Cassandra's hair or else she would have been dragged on the hunt as well. She probably would have located them far more quickly. 

"Main hall?" Barbara suggests. "I saw a new video game system when I came in." 

"Good call!" They head that way and Stephanie's steps go quiet as they reach the doorway of the room. She extends an arm to have the redhead halt and points at the two of them, mouthing "Look."

Jason and Tim are shoulder to shoulder, each clutching game controllers. One of them will murmur instructions or a request and it seems to be cooperative play. That's surprising, but probably safest. The two women watch and, as the game progresses, the smaller man scoots more and more against the broad chest next to him, trying to tuck himself down like his companion has a wing. The first few times, Jason pauses long enough to elbow Tim into leaning away or, once, even manually scooting him back to his place.

"Quit," Jason says at last. "Stay over there."

"But you're so warm," Tim protests. "How can you be so warm?"

"You're not an egg. I'm not going to hatch you. Now you run interference while I rescue the diplomat." 

It might be a bit strange that they're playing a game so closely imitating life but Barbara supposes it ticks off different satisfaction centers in your brain than actually having to do the physical work of it. Stephanie has her fingers in her mouth, clearly trying to muffle the noise that wants to escape.

Barbara is having the same issue as Tim scoots again, burrowing against Jason's side. At last, the larger man lifts his arm and lets Tim slide under as they continue playing. He doesn't even say anything when Tim starts subtly dragging pillows and blankets around them. It's touching. It's adorable. Stephanie already has her phone listed and is snapping pictures, hopping from foot to foot. There's temptation to do the same. 

At least until Damian flies into the room like a scalded cat with Dick hot on his heels. "You licked me, you degenerate! Stay away from me!"

"It just happened!" Dick yelled back. "Let me make sure you're okay!" He trips over one of the electrical cords, giving a sharp yip as he flails to regain his balance and nearly lands on Tim. 

"Quack!" Tim yells in terror. "I mean! Crap!" Jason is already dissolving into laughter. "You heard me! I said crap!"

Cassandra wanders up behind them, pressing her cheek against Stephanie's shoulder and sighing fondly. Stephanie pets her now gleaming black hair. "Rough day?"

Bruce is trying to literally scruff Dick while Jason rolls around on the floor laughing and Tim tries to take the opportunity to hide. Damian climbs onto a table for Alfred to attempt to coax him down with promises of a disinfectant wipe. "I'm thinking I should put in a call to Zatanna myself," Barbara muses. "See if she can be unavailable until tomorrow, at least." 

Stephanie claps her fingertips together. "Great," she announces. "I'm going to take them all swimming!" 

Bruce glares at them both.

**Author's Note:**

> Question? Comment? Prompt? Drop it below or leave it to me [here](http://strikeyourcolors.tumblr.com/ask)!


End file.
